Don't be a Tool.

Pushing Pause on Digital Distractions

I am unable to pinpoint the exact moment when I decided I was spending too much time on my phone.

I estimate it was some time after I committed to reading no more than three news articles each day dealing with the Administration’s latest crimes against democracy and decency. I also noted increasing incidence of mindless scrolling through reels, magically served up by Meta’s algorithm to drown me with Seinfeld scenes, dad jokes, music trivia and baseball highlights.

“Where did that half hour go?” I asked myself.

I was also increasingly irritated by the insistent message alerts – from “breaking news” or incoming text messages to the more benign ping noting that Kate had played her turn at SCRABBLE. But by far, it was the amount of time spent checking my social media platforms for the latest on what friends and others were up to that made me look up and say, “It’s time to stop the madness.”

Undertaking a “digital detox” started with a conversation with my friend, Tom, at our bi-monthly lunch, always followed by a pop-in to a nearby bookstore. I was saying I should write a book on breaking up with my phone, when I found that, not surprisingly, someone had already done so.

I picked up Unplug: How to break up with your phone and reclaim your life by Richard Simon.

I guess I was the last person to learn about how our brain chemistry produces dopamine each time we pick up our cellphone and see a text response, a Facebook “like” or can immediately Google the answer to a question posed in a conversation. In the old days, we were happy being momentarily ignorant. It really didn’t matter if we knew how long Star Trek was on network television. (Stay. 1966-69).

Simon gives straightforward guidance on how to detox, recommending using a smartphone much like a computer, keeping it with your other electronics and using it for tasks that, once completed, allow you to rejoin the real world with your digital tool back in its place. Even better, trade down to a “dumb phone” that allows you to stay connected with other humans and not so much, the internet.

After a couple of weeks of ruminating on ridding myself of platforms, and lots of posting of travel pics, my first move was to remove my social media accounts from my phone. I can still check them by going to my computer but I now do this one or two times a day. I found this move particularly liberating as I was no longer being seduced into the gauzy, mindnumbing trap of endless scrolling, manipulated by highly refined algorithms designed to play on my interests and supply me with trace evidence of my digital footprints – what shopping needs I have or books I might be interested in reading.

Building on the aphorism, “if you aren’t paying for the product, you are the product,” I said to myself if you don’t use your phone as a tool, then you’re the tool.

Don’t get me wrong. I still use my phone a lot. I would be lost in greater Boston without my navigation app. (And BTW, why does every town have a Tremont Street?). Ditto parking apps, on-line banking and ticket purchases. These are all task-based applications. I just got more aggressive in limiting the notifications, advertising and associated spam involved in their use.

Technology undoubtedly makes for more frictionless transactions, saving time and money. A friend shared the quote “it isn’t so much the time you spend on your phone. It’s the time you could’ve spent doing something else,” which I tracked to James Williams and his book, Stand Out of Our Light: Freedom and Resistance in the Attention Economy. James wrote, “The dynamic is less about the time we spend on our devices and more about the lives we don’t live because of them.”

It was like I was on the Millennium Falcon, hearing Obi Wan Kenobi say, “That’s good. You’ve taken your first step into a much larger world.” Let’s just say I have “Lost Verizon.”

It’s early days, but I have already noticed a change. The Scylla of Facebook no longer draws me near. I can live without LinkedIn and I no longer linger there, using it only to track down a friend or make a contact in the absence of an email address or phone number. I have always resisted texting so the distraction of a text thread or an urgent notification has less allure. Rather than shop for books on-line, I go to my local indy bookstore or library to browse titles and make selections.

I meditate and read more. And when I do find myself scrolling – usually while waiting in line, or sometimes late at night, I am much more aware of my screen time. I get judgy. “Am I relaxing or wasting time?” Screen time has begun to unsettle me.

It’s time to put away the tool and get on task. I remembered that I am the boss. Technology works for me. And the job is living.

How do you use technology and what are you noticing about how you use it?